We Can’t Be Friends

When you really love someone, it is difficult to be friends after the relationship is over. After the walls that you spent years building up have slowly been dismantled by this person that you have grown to love and trust, a friendship seems so mediocre at that point. When talks of the future has you believing that the rest of your life just might be spent in the arms of each other, it is hard to think only in terms of a friendship after that. When days and months go by with communication, sharing fears and jokes, laughing and sometimes crying…now we are just supposed to be friends.

I am not saying that you shouldn’t try, but I know first hand that this is one of the hardest things that I have ever tried to do. When you know that someone else now has the good morning calls that you used to have…it hurts. When you are now the “every once and a while phone call” and you know that someone gets his conversation in the evening…no more goodnight wishes for me…it hurts. When the person you loved and made plans with is now doing those plans with someone else…it hurts. When that person that pursued you and begged you to trust them, and are now only throwing you scraps of who they are….it hurts…bad.

Wanting to continue to be friends is a sweet sentiment to the relationship that was shared, but sometimes it is just not healthy. Everyone has to evaluate this for themselves, but for me I know that it caused me to suffer more.

Sometimes you have to love people the best by letting them go and part of that is you loving yourself enough to release someone from your life who no longer holds to the intentions by which they came into your world.

Sometimes you have to let that person know that you are their friend, their true and dear friend, but it will be at strong distance away.

Sometimes you have to say, I love you….but I also love me too and I can’t suffer watching you enjoy life with someone who is not me.

Then Live It, but….

The newest saying these days is, “I am living my best life”, or “I am trying to live my best life”. Well, live it then- but let me tell you something….

You cannot live your best life destroying other people.

There is a way to live your best life and that is not by misusing people’s emotions or indulging in every possible sin that you can without the risk of going to jail. This is not your best, this is being a greedy, thoughtless, selfish butthole.

Living your best life is not blazing a trail of destruction where ever you go and with whoever you meet. You meet this person and you mislead them, you meet another person and you play them out, you meet this person and you string them along, and so on and so on…..a trail of destruction. I saw on a TV show the other day where this man went to great depths to capture the heart of a woman that he had eyes for. When she finally fell for him, he decided that he was ready to move on and he said to her and the world, “Listen, I am trying to live my best life and you are not a part of it”.

What people have to say about you after you are gone from this Earth says a lot about the quality of a life best lived. If all people can say is that he was a womanizer, or she was a man eater, or that person was the worst this or that…was it your best life? Our lives are about us, but we live on a planet where we impact other people and we meet people for a reason, a season, a purpose…. a goal should be to leave them better than when you found them.

Live your best life, but if you can’t do it without hurting other people…then you are best to live your best life alone.

Can’t Make Ya Love Me

I heard some very good advice from a random person on the Internet this morning, are you ready……

You cannot make people love you by giving them more of what they already don’t appreciate.