Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean Access

I was watching a crime show the other evening about a serial killer who was finally caught and sentenced to prison. The latter part of the show contained interviews with the family who shared their opinion of the verdict and their path going forward. One family member spoke very clearly about the importance of forgiveness and the security of knowing that person doesn’t have access to them or to cause harm to anyone else. They were making a powerful statement that made me think about my own life.

I have had people in my family say horrible things about me as well as do horrible things to me. I have been accused of everything except stealing the Cross of Christ. It gets old, especially when the accusations come from those who have done horrible things and have a past a country mile wide. Most of them have carefully crafted their social facades so no one would ever guess in a million years what they are indeed guilty of and as tempting as it is, I will not speak of their misgivings in life, at least for now.

Do I forgive them? Yes. Do I want the best for them? Yes. Do I want them in my life? No. No, I do not want them in my life. Why, they are not serial killers? Why not have them in my life? Because while they did not physically kill me ( I know one has wanted to since childhood) they have murdered my name, my deeds, my character….and I am simply tired. Why should anyone continue to allow people into their life who constantly commit violations against them? Or they want to be around you just to have something else to make up and talk about. You don’t. You have the right to restrict access to your life as much as you can. Some who are just Hell bent on being nasty will find a way through church, friends, employment to somehow stay in the outer courts of your life, just enough to continue their dialogue of how much of a horrible person you are. If only those same people would examine themselves to conclude that they are indeed what they are saying that I am, wow – projection at its finest. Smh. So much like the serial killer who was forgiven but denied access to society. People, who constantly hurt you in any sense, need to be denied access to your life and it is okay.